Operation 'Bald US'

It was October, just within a few days (or less) since we found out Elizabeth had cancer, and I had gone home by myself for the first time since we took Elizabeth to the ER.  While I was at home I found I had more tears to cry as I pondered the concept that my little girl had cancer, and what all that meant for her.  During these thoughts one of the things that came up was hair loss. My daughter was going to lose her hair. This is when I came up with a plan that brought me some peace, determination, and some sense of control at a time when I felt I had no control in this situation.

My decision. I had firmly decided to donate my hair.  All of it.

When Elizabeth lost her hair, I would shave my hair off.  Elizabeth liked it when we matched; clothes, hairstyle (usually ponytails were involved), nails, etc.  Shaving my hair off after she lost her hair would let Elizabeth and I be able to be twiners, match, look the same.

This is something I really looked forward to doing during all of the many months of Elizabeth's treatment.  We all thought she would lose her hair quickly within the first months of treatment, but her hair hung on much longer.

Now, fast forward about seven months.  It's May and Elizabeth loses her hair.

When Elizabeth's hair fell out, I started talking to her about the possibility for me cutting off all of my hair.  I didn't want to surprise her with it since it was something I was doing for her, as well as me.  So I asked her if she wanted me to cut all my hair off to be like hers.  She said no. So, I didn't.

After Elizabeth's hair loss, she became attached to my hair.  She loved to play with my hair and brush it a lot.  More than she used too.  I knew I could not take that away from her.

I felt sad that I wasn't going to be able to do what I had decided to do, but I was okay.

Fast forward, again. It's now sometime in this last week.

Elizabeth is playing with some of Brian's tools and asks me if she can cut my hair.  I say yes, but not with those.  She followed me into the bathroom and gets a couple squares of toilet paper, and then puts it onto my head. After seeing the white of the paper on my head she declares that my hair is cut.  This is when I realize that she hasn't been playing or brushing my hair as much.  Maybe she will be okay with me cutting off all of my hair.  I start to get excited, and talk to her about the possibility.  Elizabeth was up for the idea of cutting off Mommy's hair.

It's the fourth of July.  We are in the hospital with no sure idea when Elizabeth will be discharged.  Brian is leaving in just a couple days to fly to California for a couple weeks.  The doctor does not want to give Elizabeth a Leave of Absence for the parade.  So, how do we decide to celebrate Independence Day?  I decided that it was as good of a time as any to cut my hair off.  I was going to get independence from hair on Independence Day!

We invited our friends, Sam and Amanda, as well as my uncle and aunt, Kyle and Erin to join us in the small hospital room for this big day.

I was feeling so excited, but also a little scared that I would look funny.  Elizabeth looks so beautiful bald, could I possible look ok bald too?  But I was ready to move forward and do this thing!

After it was all done I felt wonderful! I do not regret this decision one bit!!!

(Photos by Amanda Voyle)

(Only photo by me since we needed a picture of Amanda, our wonderful photographer of the night)